My husband is NOT my prince

Date: 26 September, 2017
Tags: marriage, relationships, husband, wife
Writer: Mummy JoJo

All my life I waited to find my prince.  When I met my husband, it was instant attraction.   It grew into love.  A deep love.  Life was magical.  A few years later,  I walked down the aisle. It was the most incredible day.  We were high on life.  But my husband is not my prince.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been moments over the years where I have felt like he is in fact an actual prince, with magical powers coming towards me on a white horse.  Like the time he held my hand or passed me the gas and air (man that stuff is goooood) during childbirth and didn’t let go.  Or the moment he stroked my face with tears in his eyes as we had an emergency section with Cheeky Charlie.  Or the time he turned up at hospital the following morning with flowers and a hamper of my favourite food and drinks.  Or the day to day moments when he gets red wine stains out of our carpet like a dog on heat or he runs around with the kids laughing.  Or the times he randomly surprises me with a compliment or a thoughtful gift.

But he isn’t a prince.  He’s just a guy.  A guy who supports me in this crazy thing called life.  A guy who drives me mad at times, like when he shouts demands at me before I have even opened my eyes up to start the day.  How romantic.  A guy who nags.  A guy who often plays it safe and thrives on routine. A guy who does things his way and not always mine.  A head strong guy with confidence in his choices.  A hardworking, family guy.  A guy who often wants to do different things, because he has a different mind to me.  A guy who does not share all of my interests and desires.

My husband is not my prince because he drives me mad some days.  Some days I don't like him.  A prince would never drive me mad, but would that be boring? I kind of like madness.  My husband is not my prince because he doesn’t always rescue me.  Sometimes he leaves me to it.  He leaves me to just bash on, because he has faith in my ability or he simply doesn’t have the time.  My husband knows me, sometimes better than I know myself.

My husband is my safety net.  He has my back.  He is proud of me. He gives me space to do things I love.  He lets me order extra chilli when we share a pizza.

He can drive me crazy but I am proud of him. I’m proud of the man he has become and he has a smile and a laugh that could light up the world.   But, let me make this clear once again…..he is not my prince and I am not his princess.

In 10 years people grow.  Priorities change.  Experiences change us.  Growing together isn’t always easy.  It’s easy to be considerate and loving when the setting is romantic, when the music is playing, when you’re looking good and feeling fine. But when one or both of you is out of sorts, exhausted, overwhelmed and distracted, showing love can feel almost impossible.

Laughter helps to heal those crazy moments.  As does the realisation that we are capable. We don’t need a prince or a princess.  We need to look after our bodies and nourish our minds.  So we sparkle and our face lights up.  So we can be the best version of ourselves.  So that even when the crazy days hit us like a thick, grey fog, we can get through them.  Those moments of restlessness and upheaval, when you find out who you are and what it truly means to love. We can say everything is going to be ok.  Let’s stick through it and share this crazy ride together.  Let’s build each other up.  Talk through our differences and find a way to make it work.  Let’s turn up the music and let the kids watch us dance and take life a little less seriously.  Let’s try and remember to kiss a bit more, even just the odd peck in the kitchen.  Because I love your lips and how they feel on mine.  I love the way you smell.  I love the feel of your skin. Then we can laugh when our 5 year old says “I love it when you both kiss” (true story).

Let’s celebrate these years. Cheers to us.  Cheers to partnership.  Cheers to our differences. Let’s drink champagne and laugh about them.  Because being married to a prince would be dull.



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