I Don't Know How To

Date: 3 August, 2017
Tags: social media, motherhood,

Scroll down your Facebook news feed these days and within ten minutes you’ll know how to make unicorn lasagne, give CPR to a sea lion and what Susan down the road got up to over the weekend. 

Sometimes it all gets too much.

Don't get me wrong, social media has its advantages, but it's exhausting to have so much information and opinion (shoved) in your face 24/7.

There are bloggers, psychologists, doctors, even friends, all giving their two cents’ worth for a little piece of internet attention.

It's too much.

It’s especially too much for Mums. 

Personally, I don't know how to be a Mum anymore.  I've forgotten what my own parenting style is. I've forgotten what kind of mum I want to be.


Because the whole world and its 2nd cousin is telling me how I should be doing it.

Dr. Idiot

You see, I'll be trundling along nicely, trying my very best for my kids, when I'll stumble across a link to an article on Facebook that's gone viral.

It’s Dr. Idiot from The University of Rich Dumbasses (we’ll call it T.U.R.D. for short) and he has written an article all about how his latest research shows that if kids are not properly disciplined in childhood, they’ll grow into violent street criminals and be serving jail time before they're 14. 

Cue me adjusting my whole parenting style.

Cue naughty step and cross Mummy. 

Grass-Smoothie-Guzzling Blogger

We’ll be a few days into 'Mission Bring Kids into Line,” when I'll happen to see a blog post by a meditating grass-smoothie-guzzling blogger from Sweden warning that being too harsh on unruly children will turn them into emotionally devoid creatures, incapable of forming meaningful relationships, ever.

Cue cross Mummy exiting stage left and easy-going mummy being wheeled on. 

Cue letting the kids off with misdemeanours, saying yes to the sweets and slightly later bedtimes, just because, you know, the emotionally devoid thing and all that.

Susan Down the Road

Then there's Susan down the road. She's started feeding her kids an organic vegan diet.

And her kids look so terrifically happy that you hot foot it down to your nearest farm produce shop, quicker than you can say “Mummy's lost the plot.”

Brenda from School

But then Brenda, who you went to school with, has just posted a gorgeous photo on Instagram of her kids eating giant ice-cream sundaes at one of those “insta-worthy” cafes (think bunting, floral China cups, and other chintz).

Her caption reads “Well...they're only young once!

You immediately drop your Eco-friendly, sustainable-whatcha-ma-bobber bag of organic potato-free potatoes and dash out of the farm produce shop.

You hurtle towards Tesco, hell-bent on buying the biggest tub of Ben & Jerrys’ you can find. (The fact you might have to sell your engagement ring to afford it is irrelevant because, you know, “they're only young once.”)

Be Kinder to Yourself

And so your days are spent feeling guilty, inadequate and constantly changing how you “Mum.”

You feel constant pressure to live up to what you're being told you should or shouldn't do. You feel like, if you don't, you're failing as a Mum.


I've been on a mission lately to be kinder to myself.

Constantly trying to be a “perfect” mum (based on external opinions and influence) is exhausting and, quite frankly, depressing. 

You know your kids best.

Be confident in your ability to be their Mum and forget about Susan and Brenda and Dr Idiot. 

Bet their kids fart in church.



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